Figure out
A (Mijn) Territorium - Positie (ook wel aanval/contactconflict)
B (Mijn) Eigenwaarde - Integriteit (ook wel inbreukconflict)
C (Mijn) Hechten - Loslaten (ook wel brokconflict)
The difference between your wish and your situation is your problem.
Really!
Describe your situation and then how you would like it.
The difference between them is your problem (or your challenge).
The birds above in the drawing have 3 problems.
The first one is in a fish bowl and does not walk freely in its territory.
The other looks into the water and does not see what he really is but a completely different bird in his reflection.
And then there is another nest they can attach to or not .....
All our problems can be traced back biologically.
Every person wants to be able to secure food and growth for his relatives in his territory.
As soon as something goes wrong here, he / she has a problem.
Actually, all problems can be captured in this.
However , the symbolism is sometimes difficult to recognize.
Choose a problem now;
A (My) Territory - Position (aka Attack / Contact Conflict)
B (My) Self-Esteem - Integrity (also known as infringement conflict)
C (My) Attach - Letting go (also called chunk conflict)
In this section you will describe your preliminary problem.
What is your problem actually.
You can say that your problem is always the difference between your situation and your wish.
You are in a situation and want something different. That is your wish.
And there is also something that prevents you from realizing that wish.
That's your problem.
Many people start with the thought that the other is doing something wrong.
Maybe so, but you are there too.
You focus your attention / energy on "something". That "something" grows through your attention / energy.
When that is unconscious it also happens ...
As long as you create this situation (with the other person) nothing will change and your pattern will become deeper.
Here you work on your own share.
Maybe there's arrogance ... (I'm perfect), maybe some self-humiliation ... (I'm worthless) but probably somewhere in between.
Take responsibility for the choices you do or do not make.
Trying to change something about someone else won't work as long as you keep doing the same. So make sure that you work on your own problem (possibly with the other person).
So what you feel, think or do yourself.
How did you create this situation.
Think about what people, what kind of people, you need in your life to create this situation.
Who are you jealous of and on what. Who are you angry with and on what.
What qualities does that person have that you would like to have.
Which you detest.
Also describe what possibilities you give to the other to create this problem situation.
Do you want to throw rose petals at your subjects or do you already give them a stick to hit ...
You have no influence on the wind, but you determine the position of the sails yourself.
If you are not aware of what your beliefs are, you keep repeating it and pass it on to your children.
With your wish you can still investigate whether this is a learned desire or whether it is a naturally necessary desire.
1 necessary natural.
2 not necessary natural.
3 not necessary, not natural.
The first kind of desires are natural and important to pursue.
They are desires such as nutrition against hunger, moisture against thirst, balance between cold and heat, and friendship against loneliness.
the second, of course, but never matured.
They are desires such as too much food, sweets, too many clothes, too many friends.
The third kind of desires are learned ones. You never tire of it.
These are desires such as power, status and wealth.
They are like drinking sea water. It only makes you thirsty.
Nothing is enough for those who find enough too little.
SITUATION...........................
First you describe the situation in which you are experiencing a problem.
What is the reason, the trigger that causes your problem.
For example;
Expansion - Containment, Hope - Disillusionment, Connection - Ballast.
WISH..............................
Then you describe your wish, your desire, your goal.
What would you want / do / be / have in that situation.
DIFFERENCE......
Then you describe the difference between these two and you have your provisional problem which you can adjust if necessary while following the steps in the header.
ISSUE.......................
Now describe the summary of your problem in one sentence.
Are you not a writer ... no problem.
Draw your problem. Outline yourself in the situation you perceive as a problem.
Look for a symbol or an archetype ... Are you the ruler, creator, innocent, wise, explorer, magician, rebel, hero, jester, ally, lover, caregiver etc. Draw, paste or cut your future down or write it down your mirror.
Als je niet bewust hebt wat je patronen zijn is blijf je het herhalen en geef je het ook weer door aan je kinderen.
Op de wind heb je geen invloed maar de stand van de zeilen bepaal je zelf.
Do you want carrots or do you want wings